


Hardcore Parkour

by sillyandquiteawkward



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:55:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23844826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sillyandquiteawkward/pseuds/sillyandquiteawkward
Summary: Ryan, a radroach mutant, stumbles across Assmcgee, a glowing one, while he's practicing his stunts(tm). Ryan doesn't like strangers, but Assmcgee attempts to graduate from strangers to friends.
Kudos: 4





	Hardcore Parkour

**Author's Note:**

> Me writing the summary: do I censor Assmcgee's name.....A*smcgee.

Deep breath. Exhale. He’s got this. Ryan took a running start, leaping off the roof of a crumbled building, legs prepared for landing on the other roof. But as the arc of his jump came and went, Ryan realized he was just short.

Ryan missed the roof’s edge and started to fall. Quickly thinking, he reached out for the wall, fingertips hooking on the rough exterior as his body slammed flat against the brick.

He didn’t make it. Again. Using his bug-like hands, Ryan climbed up a few feet to the nearest window frame, using the wooden frame as a resting place. The window was closed so there wasn’t too much room to sit but if he kept a hand on the wall, he should be balanced fine.

Ryan squatted off the frame of the building’s window, looking back up at the roof he’d leapt from. Between the buildings, the sun turned Boston a deep orange and blue, but Ryan figured he could be out for a while longer, climb back up and try again to finally clear the gap. Correct his build up and take off.

“Hey, you alright up there?” A voice called from the ground. Ryan stood straight, pressing back against the boarded up window. Down on the ground was a glowing one, a green ghoul wearing sweatpants, and he was looking right up at him. “I saw you fall. You get stuck up there?”

Ryan just turned to scurry up the side of the building. Maybe he should just head back home now. Lose the ghoul and avoid any trouble. Yeah. Can’t be missing dinner again. Mom’s making…something.

Skittering up over the edge of the roof, Ryan checked the sun to determine which way he needed to head back home. Boston was a maze, especially when you had to skirt around the supermutants and raiders, and now a glowing one too. He could still hear that ghoul yell at him, but he couldn’t hear exactly what he was saying. He hoped it was nothing bad. Crossing the roof, Ryan got up on the edge again, calculating his jump and path home.

“Wait, how’d ya stick to the wall like that?! Can you show me?” It was the ghoul, out of breath. He must’ve raced up the stairs like a normal crazy person.

Ryan leapt, nowhere near enough to make the next roof and dropped lightly to the ground, taking only a moment to recover from the three story fall before breaking into a run. He could take the next right into a dead end alley and climb up there.

Except there were two crashes just a second later, where the ghoul had jumped down onto a dumpster and flat onto the pavement. The ghoul landed heavy and crumpled. Ryan froze in his tracks. Please no.

The glowing ghoul coughed and cursed loudly, moving to stand, and Ryan breathed again.

“Why’d you do that? You could’ve died!” Ryan screeched, embarrassed that the panic made his voice crack.

“Well you just jumped, I was just trying to keep up and you made it just fine so get off my dick.” The ghoul stood, seeming to be just fine. He didn’t move to dust himself off despite the uncomfortable amount of dirt covering his front, Ryan noted. “I’m Assmcgee. Tell me how you stuck to the wall, you’re like that Grognak character!”

Ryan considered running again, knowing he was fine and not dead but something stopped him. “…Like Terrible Tarantula, right?”

“That’s the fucker! You’re just like him!” Assmcgee grinned with massive teeth that glowed as radioactive as his eyes.

“But I’m not a one-off c-tier villain,” Ryan muttered, watching. Not a villain at all actually. “Uh, your name is…Assmcgee?”

“You heard me, TT. Don’t fucking forget it neither. So will you show me how you did that?” He began to walk forward casually. “Hey what’s your name, man?”

“Uh.” And the comfort he had felt dissolved. Talking about himself never was easy, especially towards strangers. Especially about his Condition. He took a step back and brought his hands up to his chest defensively. “I’m Ryan. I’m just a good climber. I practice.”

“Bullshit, you ran up a flat surface!” Assmcgee gestured back at the building they jumped off. Maybe he should run away now.

“I’ll show you.” Ryan said robotically, placing a palm against the crumbling facade of the old building. “I stick.” Ryan added and lifted himself up, escaping out of reach. Ryan turned and sat on his heels, his feet still firmly planted to the building, hands playing support. If there was something he did like about becoming a radroach mutant, it certainly was handy to stick to walls. Made running away easy.

Assmcgee looked at him like someone was flipping the channels on his emotional radio station from awe, confusion, to what Ryan assumed was disgust. He didn’t look very smart.

“Oh shit! You’re the coolest ghoul in the world!” Assmcgee yelled, catching Ryan off guard. Definitely not smart.

“Y-yeah,” Ryan started, edging further up the wall until there was a snap.

The aged stucco facade on the building cracked and slide off the brick, Ryan along with it. He made a noise, preparing to drop to the ground softly before he realized the fall was already done. And that he was being held by the ghoul. And that he was warm. Like really warm.

“Whoa, shit!” Assmcgee failed to whistle, holding Ryan like he weighed nothing over his shoulder. Which wasn’t ridiculous seeing how meaty the ghoul was. “These buildings are shit, huh? Fuck em!” Assmcgee looked particularly inspired as he kicked the broken remains with enough force to shatter them on impact. Ryan clung in surprise, being violently jostled around as this ghoul vented his frustration at the wall, Ryan forgotten in his arms.

“L-let me go! Please!” He squirmed in Assmcgee’s grip.

“What? Oh.” And Assmcgee dropped Ryan. “You’re welcome for the catch by the way, now you totally owe me. So you’ll tell me how to stick on walls?”

“I did? I just do.” He took a step back. Clearly Assmcgee wasn’t interested in hurting him, but people were never Ryan’s strong suit, even as a human. “There isn’t anything else to say.”

“Oh.”

“Look, uh… Assmcgee. I have to go. We can talk, uh, later?” Hopefully there wont be a later, talking to more than just family is exhausting and scary. Ryan prayed his boldness would pay off.

“Oh…okay! Hey, if you ever need some muscle, I’m you’re guy, and I’m cheap.” Assmcgee proudly pointed at himself with his thumb. “I stick around here a lot, so don’t hesitate to hit me up!”

Ryan nodded. “I’ll think about it.”

“Kay, I’ll let you run for now. You’ll tell me your wall sticking secrets soon enough.”

“Just don’t…don’t jump off any more buildings,” Ryan half laughed, backing away to leave.

“No promises,” Assmcgee countered. Ryan had a feeling it wasn’t a joke to Assmcgee.

“No seriously, you’ll get hurt.”

Assmcgee stopped grinning for a second before bursting into a laugh. “Ryan, I don’t get hurt. I’m too strong!” He flexed his biceps, his shirt lifting and revealing a green crescent of thick belly. His sweatpants were ridiculously low on his hips. Another inch and he’d be practically naked.

Don’t look don’t look don’t look. “Uh Right. Bye Assmcgee.” Ryan turned, started walking away in earnest, turning the corner he had planned to, and crawled up the wall. Once he got to the roof he was able to spy on Assmcgee from the ledge. He was still standing in the same spot and he’d gone back to kicking the rubble and muttering to himself.

Ryan chewed his lip idly, watching. For a stranger, he wasn’t too terrible to talk too. He even knew comics.

Assmcgee threw some rubble at the wall and it hit him after it bounced. He started throwing all the rocks he could find. Half of them bounced back and hit him. One hit his face and Ryan stifled a laugh. Okay, he’s getting distracted. Time to go home.

Ryan stood and went to the far edge, the deep orange sun hitting his side and jumped off.


End file.
